Watch me burn

One of those strong opinions that I've had for a while and always wanted to put somewhere is how I feel about pop culture and domestic abuse.

To start with, modern media does nothing kind to the way people view abusive situations. Come to think of it, Lifetime is about the only media source that constantly, vigilantly cries out against it... and because it is in origin the channel to turn women against men and the system, they are preaching to the choir. If LMN and Spike could swap programs for a day, there may be some mutual understanding on the gender roles front, but alas I don't see this happening in the distant future.

More than a small handful of women struggle with their own images. From mothers to the girls next door, they are doing something to try to earn themselves some self respect. Sometimes they discover healthy ways of coping with life. Others, they believe the lies that tv tells them. One of the far too common ones is when they take the martyr approach. They view themselves as the sacrifice to make the situation better, victimizing themselves. Feeling sorry for themselves at the same time as being proud of what they endure. It's basically emotional masochism. I suppose we all do it to some degree. The over achievers work themselves into the ground so they can wallow in self-pity and then earn an ounce of resepct for themselves. The housewife is critical on every aspect of herself, because she's emotionally dependant on the man. This is a terribly destructive response when applied to relationships.

If you ask me, the worst and most unfortunate part about pop culture is the way in which the most influential people and groups use their fame. I'll use a major one for example here. Eminem. Take his new song Love The Way You Lie ft Rihanna. And if you haven't seen it.... I don't believe you. The lyrics alone are enough to idolize a domestic abuse situation. Eminem's tone of obvious control over the girlfriend caters to those martyr personalities, sucking them into the ever-worsening downward spiral of lessening self respect. The music video stars Megan Fox, anything she does is going to become attractive. I have a theory that if someone else did this song with the same lyrics, but different tone, and having the Megan Fox escape at the end, it would send a totally different message. But she stays with her abusive boyfriend in the video, making that the new idealistic position.
"Just gonna stand there And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love The way you lie
I love the way you lie"
Rihanna's lines fuel the fire in that they put a voice to that woman emotion of co-dependancy. The single reason that women stay in relationships with domestic violence is because their boyfriend has so much control over her, that she's convinced she absolutely cannot function without him.

No matter your opinion of him, Eminem is without a doubt one of the most popular rappers in the world. Definitely in America anyway. If he wanted to, if he cared, he could use his fame to promote the good things that this generation needs. Pick a cause, he could positively impact it. And yet there he goes, spurting his homophobic lines, dissing minorities and the disabled. He put out his album Recovery after coming back from the drug life. This could have been a perfect opportunity to talk about getting clean, to un-glorify that lifestyle, or to rip apart the glittering generality that some fans inevitably have for that image of the drug life - the convoluted hardened street kid, or fallen women. BUT NO! He made it all about himself, stating it was his choice to do drugs, his to get clean so he could start rapping and making more money (as if his capitalist ass needed more $), and that he didn't give a crap who he offended along the way.
"His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the universe." Yeahhh, real inspirational Eminem. The people who both listen to his material AND enjoy it are the ones with crack leaking out of every bodily orphus... The ones who felt society rejected them for whatever reason, and subsequently stopped trying. They are already going down the road of destruction - in some way, shape, or form - when they turn to music to try to find one shred of humanity they can relate to. Then they discover Eminem, who instead of giving them hope to find a healthier lifestyle, validates this road, and pushes them farther down it. Small wonder why there is little hope to possitively affect these groups.

Well there's my lovely little rant on rapping and modern society. Not to worry, I'm usually rather positive, and promise to come out with some posts about media that's actually good for the youth and youthful minds of the world. (It exists? Crazy, right!?!?!)

Here's a much better media approach, by the nonconformist Amanda Palmer. Her tone and expression are so sarcastic, yet the message is so clear. Especially at the end. ;)